Judge less, stress less

//Judge less, stress less

“Why is she wearing those shoes?” I heard a snotty voice say as I walked past a group of people tailgating in the parking lot before a recent Zac Brown Band show. “It’s raining, and…”

I called out over my right shoulder making sure to use a friendly tone, before she could spew anymore of her disgust at my back, “So that I can see during the show. We have floor seats and I’m and only 5’4” so when everyone stands up, I can’t see anything.”

I was wearing these 5” platform Jimmy Choo peep toe, sling backs. I was tired of not being able to see or having to stand on my tip toes during a concert. If I have to stand on my toes, why not look amazing and give my heels support with the lift too? So…I decided to wear my Jimmy Choo’s that night, they are tall AND comfortable. The reason was perfectly logical to me and guess what? It worked, I was able to see the show with much more ease at my new elevated height of approximately 5’9”. Thankfully I let the snotty parking lot comment role right off my back. I was actually able to turn it into a positive when I realized what a great article it would make!


So exactly how does this narrative relate to health you ask? Well, if you’re looking for a way to decrease stress in your life (and I know most of you are),

Stop              judging               people.

We all do it, but some of us spend a lot more time judging others. Why do we cast judgement? What positive comes out of judging others?

Let me break it down on a psychological level. Throughout our lives we are constantly being told by others what is correct and incorrect behavior and some of us form additional behavioral rules on our own through observation and reflection. Every single person has their own unique set of rules because every single person’s life experiences are different. Sure, there might be, say, 2,000 widely accepted rules among all humans, but in the end, much like a fingerprint, everyone has their OWN set of rules with just one rulebook that resides in the brain.

So what do we do when other people do not behave according to these rules that are known only to us?

we judge them…

and think very mean thoughts…

and sometimes say our very mean thoughts out loud.

Why do we do this?

Well because we all have negative energy within us, some more than others. When we judge people based on our own set of rules in our head, we are essentially hurling some of this negative energy towards the person we are judging. Releasing our poison with the hopes of it sticking to another. You see, getting rid of the internal negative energy temporarily makes us feel better. In turn if the other person accepts the judgement then they have just increased the amount of negative energy within themselves.

What happens when the other person is rubber and you’re glue and whatever you say bounces off them and sticks back on you? Well then the person doing the judging gets the negative energy returned plus additional aggravation…

Either way, the best outcome would be for the negative energy of judgement to be rendered docile instead of being bounced around from person to person. Nipped in the bud as my friend Angie would say ;).

How can you practice non-judgement and reduce your stress and negative output into the universe?

Recognize what’s going on in that moment of judgement. The next time you catch yourself thinking “Oh my gosh, Becky, look at her butt.” Be aware of it. Think about it. Why does this person that you likely don’t even know have to conform to a butt size that you deemed appropriate? Who gave you this type of authority? Why does it matter? What good comes from casting your negative energy on this unsuspecting person? I bet when you ask yourself these questions, unless you’re the other person’s parent, you won’t be able to come up with any real compelling answer.

And when that’s the case, like Zac Brown sings Save your strength for things that you can change, forgive the ones you can’t, you gotta let it go.

Peace and love, peace and love.



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